Whatyour choice of Linux distribution says about you

Humor
Whatyour choice of Linux distribution says about you
SaturdayOctober 30, 2004 (02:00 PM GMT)
By:JoeBarr

ManyLinux newbies -- or wanna-be newbies -- get hung up over the choice
oftheir initial distribution. We here at NewsForge have put a lot
ofthought into this, and have decided to share our best thinking on
thesubject in order to help ease you newbies out of the monopoly
spreadinto the Linux world. The most important thing for newbies to
consideris this: what does your choice of distributions say about
you?Updated to includeSlackware.

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Tothat end, we have created this brief list of observations of the
usersof specific distributions, highlighting their most notable traits,
inorder that you can weigh this important aspect of
distributionselection in your final, initial decision.

Debian
• This distribution is popular with those who always count in binary,and
are politically correct in a free software kind of way. Many
aresuspected of having been nursed on a TTY. Debian users take pride
inthe fact that their distribution is always several releases behind
thelatest version of the kernel, but makes up for that by being
moredifficult to install and use.

Gentoo
• If John Wayne had been a Linux user, he would have used Gentoo.Gentoo
users are pioneers, people who like to live close to the metal,and don't
mind hurting themselves on sharp objects. Some feel thatGentoo users are
simply lazy louts who always want to have a readyexcuse for why they are
not doing constructive things with theircomputer, other than compiling
or recompiling the latest kernel, app,or hapless passerby. The official
Gentoo motto is, "If it moves,compile it."

Knoppix
• Knoppix users are pushy and aggressive. It's not at all unusual
forthem to hand you a CD and tell you to boot from it. Mainly, they
liketo stare at the console during the boot process while its
snifferscheck out the current hardware and network configuration. While
thisis a flashy and very useful distribution, it never seems to
stickaround on the systems it is used on as long as the
otherdistributions. Don't trust Knoppix users in matters of the heart.

Linspire
• This distribution is popular with the timid and the meek. Often
thisincludes those straying away from Windows for the very first
time.With a womb-to-grave GUI interface, which can download and
installsoftware packages with a single click, Linspire provides its
usersmore ease of use than they deserve. When you think of Linspire
users,think of a princess whose culinary repertoire is limited to
makingreservations.

Mandrake
• Mandrake users are suave and sophisticated. They prefer to focus on
apolished desktop environment rather than just serving others. It'salso
said that they enjoy sipping -- but only late in the year -- thenew crop
of Beaujolais each year. Red Hat users say that Mandrakeusers don't love
freedom. Mandrakians insist it is only freedom friesthey hold in
disdain.

MEPIS
• This newbie distribution attracts people who can't decide
whetherthey'd rather have Knoppix-like LiveCD ability or Linspire's
easyinstall and GUI-all-the-way interface: It has both. MEPIS is
alsototallythe distro of choice for people who like to hum John Denver's
song,"Country Roads," under their breath, because it's the only
oneheadquartered in West Virginia. Go Mountaineers!

RedHat
• Red Hat is not synonymous with Linux, but many of its users
believethat it is. Long the king of the Linux street, Red Hat is most
popularwith middle-of-the-road types who always end up following along
withthe crowd, even when everyone in the crowd is wearing a silly hat.
RedHat is very strict about the licensing of the apps it includes
withthe distribution, but doesn't seem to mind abandoning customers
whoare not large corporations.

Updated:Thanks to Joshua H. for this lightly edited synopsis of
Slackware andSlackware users.

Slackware
• This distribution is for those that don't care for the overhead
ofconfiguration interfaces, and have a great appetite for raw textfiles.
No need for dependency checks, since they always know what theyare
doing. Especially important to Slackware users are the braggingrights of
using the oldest distribution still in development. Plus thefact that it
has been supported by the same diety all that time,Patrick J.
Volkerding. Newbies should be cautious around Slackwareusers, because
they will cut you none.

SUSE
• If you like beer, horns, or green eggs, you'll like SUSE. The
recentacquisition of SUSE by Novell is similar to Vince Lombardi's Green
BayPackers adopting the West Coast offense. SUSE users like a
clean,well-lighted desktop, and are far less concerned about where
thingsare kept in the filesystem than they ought to be.